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50 Tonos

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Today, I’m going to take you down a dark rabbit hole. Are you ready? I hope so. Have you ever thought of your deepest darkest fantasy? Or, maybe something you want to explore but are to afraid to ask for what you want? Sometimes, I’m sure you think that what you like or want is depraved or even off the wall crazy. Sometimes, you have to step back and do an overview of your wants and needs and then try to slowly introduce them. Have you ever thought of what it might be like to hear your partner say,”yes Master, no Master, or Permission to speak Master?” Or, if you’re a woman you’ve fantasized about being called Mistress. We all have our dark……you’re not alone.

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Most of you know the movie 50 Shades of Grey it is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM). The tension between Ana and Christian eventually comes to a head after Ana asks Christian to punish her in order to show her how extreme a BDSM relationship with him could be. Christian fulfills Ana’s request, beating her with a belt, and Ana realizes they are incompatible. Have you ever felt like that? That maybe, just maybe you’re a sadist and you partner may not understand?

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Maybe you’re wondering what one is or perhaps if you yourself are one. A sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain on others, sometimes in a sexual sense. … A sadist is the opposite of a masochist, who enjoys being in pain. A sadist is all about hurting others, usually to get off sexually. However, this word is about more than sex. But there is a more pervasive, and more mundane, type of sadism hiding within the recesses of many individuals’ personalities.

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Psychologists talk about “the dark triad” in personality, representing a perfect-storm combination of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. People high in the dark triad traits callously use people to their own advantage, seeing them as tools to exploit in order to get what they want.

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While 50 Shades of Grey has everyone talking about S&M in the mainstream, that’s not the kind of masochism I’m talking about here, folks. Although that’s one definition of masochism, I’m more interested in the one that characterizes a person who is gratified by pain and degradation or finds pleasure in self-denial. Wondering if you or someone around you is holding onto masochistic tendencies?

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The number one sign that someone is a masochist is that they are unable to say no. “No” is not selfish or unkind — it’s an act of radical self-care. You’re obsessive about pushing yourself to be “good.” You get off on rescuing people, animals, or the planet. You resist receiving blessings when others try to give them to you. You walk in the room and run straight for a narcissist. You fail to stand up for yourself. You’re addicted to perfectionism. You judge yourself for negative emotions. You’re magnetized to drama. You run the other way if anything feels too yummy.

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While I’m not suggesting that we should all turn into overindulgent hedonists, the inability to relax into simple pleasures is an obvious sign of masochism. Do you find yourself bored when life flows with ease? Do you have a story that says that everything good in life comes alongside pain? Well, it’s time to rewrite the story. Allow yourself to experience infinite blessings without undue pain.

Make sure you’re not kicking yourself if some points on this list describe you. Just close your eyes and see yourself wrapped in great arms of love that nourish, comfort, protect, and love you unconditionally. I personally have been through masochism and back…it’s not as bad as you think it is.

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Or maybe perhaps you’re a demisexual, which is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being “halfway between” sexual and asexual.

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BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent upon self-identification and shared experience.

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The BDSM initialism.

The term “BDSM” is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others.

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Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are often characterized by the participants taking on complementary, but unequal roles; thus, the idea of informed consent of both the partners is essential. The terms “submissive” and “dominant” are often used to distinguish these roles: the dominant partner (“dom”) takes psychological control over the submissive (“sub”). The terms “top” and “bottom” are also used: the top is the instigator of an action while the bottom is the receiver of the action. The two sets of terms are subtly different: for example, someone may choose to act as bottom to another person, for example, by being whipped, purely recreation-ally, without any implication of being psychologically dominated by them, or a submissive may be ordered to massage their dominant partner. Despite the bottom performing the action and the top receiving they have not necessarily switched roles.

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The abbreviations “sub” and “dom” are frequently used instead of “submissive” and “dominant”. Sometimes the female-specific terms “mistress”, “domme” or “dominatrix” are used to describe a dominant woman, instead of the gender-neutral term “dom”. Individuals who can change between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles—whether from relationship to relationship or within a given relationship—are known as switches. Is any of this exciting you or making your mind race to places only seen behind the shadow? Don’t be ashamed of it, it’s part of who you are embrace it and have fun with it.

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What does it mean to be sexually dominant or sexually submissive?

What defines Dominance?

  • Being in control.
  • Prioritizing your desires.
  • Expecting obedience or compliance.
  • Taking responsibility .
  • Carrying a duty to your submissive.

I think the core of most D/s relationships is that the Dominant is mostly in control of things (remembering that submission is given, not taken) and expects their submissive to be pleasing in whatever way works for their relationship. I just love the raw expectation of obedience that compatible D-types have with me.

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As a submissive (someone who’s into it for the joy of submission, not just someone who likes being dominated in bed), the primary desire is to please the D-type. That often means elevating their desires above your own in a variety of different ways. For example, a sub generally doesn’t enjoy being punished but that doesn’t mean they resist it. Allowing someone else to control you is a broad statement and could be as minor as obeying orders in the bedroom or as high-level as literally not having opinions until you hear what your D-type wants.

But this question is asking about the specifics of being sexually dominant or submissive in bed, psychologically.

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I’m not sure what to add to my previous answer. Sexual dominance is about prioritizing your own desires and exerting control over the situation and your partner. Sexual submission is about allowing yourself to be controlled by your partner. Sexual D/s often involves the Dominant’s pleasure being more important than the submissive’s pleasure, or the submissive’s pleasure being entirely controlled by the Dominant (such as when you’re allowed to pleasure yourself or orgasm). Psychologically, it’s just another type of sexual play.

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Has this inspired any of you to come out to yourselves about what you really feel or how you want to feel? I think that sexual liberation is a must. Life, is way too short to be doing the same mundane positions as the normal doggy or missionary.Small things can tell you a LOT about someone’s personality. Certain signs are telling.

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Whether it’s a preferred wine or underwear, a zodiac sign or favorite food, there are several pointers to someone’s personality. But NOTHING is more telling than someone’s favorite sex position.Sex is the most intimate act in human existence. It says countless things about you. The kind of lover you are will always reflect the kind of person you are. Hope this has opened your mind to more possibilities in the sheets.

Christmas with an ex boyfriend?

Happy Holidays Mi Gente!

Holidays are meant to be spent with the people you love, right? Well, this year is a lil different for me I’m not celebrating this year. But for those of you who are celebrating happy holidays to you!

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Holidays with a twist! How do you decide whether to keep an ex — or merely someone you dated — in your life after the spark has gone out? Very good question. Sometimes you don’t get much of a choice. When I broke things off, I cut off all communication. If you have kids together, you might be co-parenting or at least communicating especially around the holidays. As for me, I don’t have kids so I don’t have those problems.

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Whether or not the breakup was your call, cutting a person out of your life—someone with whom you’ve shared secrets, dreams for the future, a bed, or even a home—is really, really tough. And there’s no formula for breaking up with someone. But even after the hard part is over, it’s never as cut-and-dry as simply saying good-bye. In today’s smartphone-centric, Facebook-addicted, Instagram-obsessed world, staying in touch with an ex is a lot easier—and messier.

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Have you ever received a text from your ex on SM because it is the only way they can try to get a hold of you? What would you do, if happened to you? Would you respond back or would you ignore it? What if you had been in a long term relationship with your ex and was very close with their family, would you respond if they contacted you after one year of being separated to spend Christmas with them and their family? Your ex family.

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My ex boyfriend wants me to come hangout with his family for Christmas. I broke up with him but he still wants to spend Christmas with me because I moved to another state and am spending the holiday alone. It’s crazy, I never check my FB….ever. Crazy thing when I did decide to check it, there was am DM from him. FML! I probably should of never responded. SMH.

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Being single at the holidays is emotional for most, but it also gives you the chance to reflect on relationships of your past. That is if, you’re that sentimental…..but for me 0 sentimientos here. If you’re thinking of reconnecting with a former love at the holidays, you’re not alone many people are just like you….I however am not going to reconnect or rekindle anything. My corazon belongs to someone else, who doesn’t know it yet. Just going as a friend of the family and to see and gift my nephews. I really miss the children and my sister and ex parents in law. They weren’t the problem they just got caught in the cross fire.

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Exes trying to be friends when one person still has feelings for the other and is holding on to hope of reconciliation; or someone is still hurt from the breakup, and that makes it hard to continue any kind of relationship. I moved on from the day I ended things he still holds on. Much like being in a romantic relationship, remaining friends with an ex requires that you’re both looking for similar things. In my case, it could be possible to be friends with him but then again I really don’t see it.

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But, for those of you who are desperately trying to salvage a holiday relationship I do have some rules to go by. Good luck!

What are the rules and proper etiquette for recycling an ex at the holidays?

Here are five tips on how to reconnect or attend a special holiday event with your former beau or girlfriend, to make it a better experience for all involved.

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1. Don’t talk about what went wrong. You know the reason you broke up. He or she knows the reason you broke up. There’s no need to rehash the past and spend time going down memory lane.

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2. Don’t talk about your dating history while you were apart. Perhaps one of you had a lusty affair and the other never got over your initial break-up. There’s no reason to compare bad date stories or wonder how many people your ex went to bed with. Keep the conversation on a need-to-know basis. They simply don’t need to know what happened during your hiatus.

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3. Do keep the conversation light and easy. Just like your initial first dates, remember to leave the drama behind. You might think the familiarity should allow you to accelerate things, but being a “Debbie or Donnie Downer” will turn him or her away faster than you can imagine. Ask about his or her family and how work is going, or talk about the latest accomplishments of your children. If your former love interest says they’re seeing someone, respect their relationship status and don’t try to talk them out of it.

 

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4. Don’t try to pick up where you left off. Don’t assume your ex wants to get back together long-term. Try and look at this as a new friendship or the beginning of a new relationship that just happened to resurface during the holidays. Don’t start planning your future all over again and keep the expectations low. Live in the moment on your first date together.

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5. Don’t sleep together. Avoid being overly affectionate in public the first time you see each other after a break-up. Unless you really want a friends-with-benefits relationship, don’t immediately end up back in bed. You may wake up regretting it in the morning, when your emotions are at an all-time high, as your mind wanders off thinking where the relationship is headed.

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If things go well when you reunite over the holidays and you decide to start dating your ex, keep the communication going. Sending only a text message to say that you had a great time instead of calling the next day won’t win her heart. If you’re truly interested in pursuing the relationship again, pick up the phone and call to set up another date.

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What were once strong feelings for him had faded to a simple fondness; the pain from the breakup a year ago is gone. As we will say our goodbyes and trade “nice to see you’s,” and we will both think about how it was merely nice to see each other. The holiday will be remarkable for being unremarkable.

And by the end of our short time together we will make no halfhearted promises to see each other again soon. And that will be just fine.

 

 

 

 

Puerto Rican Mofongo Turkey Stuffing

  • Prep15min
  • Total35min
  • Ingredients8
  • Servings 8

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8 Ingredients

12
ozs of bacon cut into fine pieces Save $
Frying oil
1
medium onion, chopped
4
green plantains
4
mashed garlic cloves
1/4
cup green pepper
1/4
cup red pepper
Salt and pepper to taste
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  • In a pan, stirfry the bacon in oil until crunchy, stirring it constantly to prevent over burning. Remove from heat and cook the onions in the same oil.
  • 2 Peel the plantains and them into one-inch pieces. Fry until soft on all sides. Mash them with the garlic and place them in a bowl. Season and mix with the onions and bacon until unifom, add peppers and stuff turkey.
  • 3 If you choose to serve as a side, keep warm until ready to serve. The onions and oil will keep it moist and prevent it from over drying.

Pumpkin Arroz con Leche

 

  • 15 min
  • Total 30 min
  • Ingredients 12
  • Servings 4

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12 Ingredients

3 1/2

cups whole milk
1/4
teaspoon salt
1/4
teaspoon nutmeg, ground
2
cloves
1
cinnamon stick
1
cup Arborio rice
7.5
ozs pumpkin puree
1/3
cup sugar
1/2
teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2
cup packed brown sugar
Orange zest for garnish
Pepitas for garnish
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  • 1 In a heavy saucepan, combine milk, salt, nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon over medium heat. Bring to a slow simmer.
  • 2 Add rice and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cover. Let simmer, stirring occasionally until rice is tender; approximately 20 minutes.
  • 3 Uncover and fold in pumpkin puree, sugar and vanilla until completely combined. Cook for 5 more minutes. Cover and remove from heat. Discard cinnamon sticks and cloves. Let cool.
  • 4 To serve, garnish with orange zest and pepitas.

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Puerto Rican Coquito Cheesecake

 

  • Prep 15 min
  • Total 1 hr 15 min
  • Ingredients 17
  • Servings 8

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17 Ingredients

For the coquito:

12
oz coconut milk
8.5
oz coconut cream
12
oz evaporated milk
1
tablespoon vanilla
2
cinnamon sticks
1
cup white rum (optional)

For the cheesecake:

1 1/2
cups Graham crackers, ground
1/3
cup unsalted butter, softened
1
package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
2
tablespoons Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose Flour
1/2
cup condensed milk
1
cup coquito drink
4
eggs
1
teaspoon vanilla
1
teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8
teaspoon ground clove
1/2
cup sugar
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  • For the coquito: In a blender, process all ingredients. You can make an alcohol-free version without rum.
  • 2 For the cheesecake: Preheat oven to 350°F.
  • 3 Combine ground Graham crackers with softened butter. Pour into a spring-loaded 7-inch mold and press firmly into the bottom to create the crust. Bake for 8-10 minutes. Let cool.
  • 4 In a blender, combine cream cheese, flour, condensed milk, coquito drink, eggs, vanilla, cinnamon, cloves and sugar.
  • 5 Pour into the mold and bake for 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
  • 6 Remove from oven and let cool completely. Serve and enjoy!

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Puerto Rican Pastelon Lasagna

 

  • Prep 30 min
  • Total 1 hr 15 min
  • Ingredients 12
  • Servings 6

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12 Ingredients

6
ripe maduro
1/3
cup vegetable oil + 2 teaspoons
2
lbs ground meat
1
teaspoon dry oregano
1/2
teaspoon cumin powder (or to taste)
Salt and pepper
2
tablespoons sofrito
2
tablespoons tomato paste
1
seasoning package
1/3
cup green olives stuffed with pepper
1
cup quesillo or grated mozzarella cheese (optional)
4
slightly beaten eggs

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  • Peel the bananas and slice them length-wise.
  • 2 Heat up 1/3 cup oil in a pan and fry the bananas until they’re golden brown. Drain them on a paper towel and set aside.
  • 3 In another pan, heat a tablespoon of oil and fry the meat until it changes color. Season with the oregano, cumin, salt and pepper to taste.
  • 4 In another pan, use the extra tablespoon oil to fry the sofrito with the tomato paste, the seasoning, and olives. Add the cooked meat and finish cooking. Fix the seasoning if you think it’s necessary. Set aside.
  • 5 Preheat the oven to 350°F.
  • 6 Cover a rectangular mold with butter. Beat the eggs with salt and pepper and pour half at the bottom of the mold. Then, place a layer of fried ripe maduro.
  • 7 Sprinkle the grated cheese on top.
  • 8 Then, add all of the meat.
  • 9 Cover with another layer of fried ripe maduro.
  • 10 Finish with the rest of the beaten egg.
  • 11 Bake for 25 minutes. Take it out of the oven and set aside for 15 minutes before cutting.

 

 

Pastelillos de Guayaba

INGREDIENTES

  • 5 oz. de queso blanco ECONO
  • 5 oz. de pasta de guayaba ECONO
  • 1 pqte. de hojaldre para empanadas
  • ½ taza de nueces tostadas

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PROCEDIMIENTO

¡Convierte tu cocina en una fábrica de sabor para tu familia! Aprende a preparar unos ricos Pastelillos de Guayaba y ¡disfruta el proceso!

Calienta el horno a 400 �? F.

Con un cortador de galletas redondo de 1¾ de diámetro, corta cuatro círculos en cada ronda de hojaldre (48 rondas). Divide los círculos que cortaste, equitativamente entre las bandejas de hornear forradas con papel de pergamino. Deja una pulgada de espacio entre cada ronda.

Hornea hasta que estén ligeramente dorados y soplados (alrededor de 8 minutos).

Con la parte de atrás de una cuchara pequeña, presiona hacia abajo los centros de los pasteles calientes (para hacer hendiduras). Coloca una pieza de queso blanco y de la pasta de guayaba, en cada hendidura. Hornea hasta que la guayaba y el queso estén suaves y derretidos, (alrededor de 8 minutos).

Transfiere los pastelitos a la rejilla para enfriar. Deja reposar hasta que se enfríen, (por unos 10 minutos) ¡y listo!

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Thanksgiving Pumpkin Mousse 🍨

This pumpkin mousse is a fabulous no-bake dessert, although you do cook it a little bit on the stovetop. It’s then chilled and lightened by folding in some coconut whipped cream. It’s not as light as typical mousse, but it is lighter, kind of like a thinner pudding. Anyway, if you have some friends or family with special diets or are keeping your waistline in check this holiday season, be sure to give this recipe a try! You can even make it paleo by changing the honey for maple syrup.

Serves 6 to 8 servings

This lightened up Pumpkin Mousse is gluten and dairy free, and full of pumpkin spices! Perfect for a healthier Thanksgiving or fall dessert!

Ingredients

1 (15oz) can pumpkin puree

3 (13.5oz) cans full fat coconut milk

1/2 cup honey

1 Tbsp vanilla

2 1/2 Tbsp pumpkin pie spice

1/4 tsp salt

2 packets stevia or 2 tsp sugar

Instructions

1 REFRIGERATE ALL 3 CANS OF COCONUT MILK OVERNIGHT.

2 CHILL the bowl of a stand mixer and whisk attachment in the fridge (20+min) or freezer (10 min).

3 Remove 1 can of coconut milk from the fridge, turn it upside down and open the can. Pour out the clear liquid into a container to store in the refrigerator for later (use in smoothies, soups, etc.). Scoop out the cream with a spoon and place in a medium saucepan.

4 Add the pumpkin, honey, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice, and salt to the saucepan with the coconut cream. Cook on medium heat until the mixture simmers. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and pour into a large bowl that has been placed inside an ice-water bath (another bowl with ice and water). Stir the mixture to cool it faster. Let the bowl of pumpkin sit in the ice-water bath while you work on the next step. It’s important to keep everything cold so the pumpkin mousse is stiff instead of soupy.

5. Once the pumpkin mixture has cooled, prepare the coconut whipped cream. Remove the remaining 2 cans of coconut milk from the refrigerator, turn them upside down and open the cans. Pour out the clear liquid into a container to store in the refrigerator for later. Scoop out the cream with a spoon and place in the chilled mixing bowl. Attach the whisk to the stand mixer and whip until stiff peaks form, adding 2 stevia packets to sweeten the whipped coconut cream, if desired.

6. Gently fold in ⅔ to ¾ of the whipped coconut cream into the pumpkin mixture, being careful not to over-mix.

7. Fill a pastry bag that has been fitted with a star tip with the pumpkin mixture, and pipe it into 6 to 8 small dessert dishes. Do a little at a time, so you don’t warm the mousse too much in the pastry bag with your hands. (You may scoop the mousse into dishes if you don’t have a pastry bag.)

8. Top with a little swirl or dollop of the remaining whipped coconut cream, and a sprinkle of cinnamon, if desired. Chill the pumpkin mousse in the refrigerator for an hour or two before serving. Store in the refrigerator up to 1 week in a container with a lid.

2017 Turkey Day Outfits

Quick confession: I’ve been dreaming about turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce for awhile now.

Thanksgiving is about kicking off the holiday season with family, friends and of course, delicious food. But whether you’re traveling or hosting the holiday at home, you’ll want to be cozy and warm for the big day.

This outfit is not only stylish but unbelievably easy to style. Instead of playing it safe with your basic oversized sweater, try something with unusual proportions layered over distressed denim and striking heels or ankle boots. Pair with some eye-catching hoops and large clutch.

No matter what your Thanksgiving plans are this year, the key to the perfect ensemble is pairing pieces that work together to form cute AND comfy outfits. No one wants to be fidgeting with too-tight pants as they collapse onto the couch to sleep off the Thanksgiving feast.

But then again, sweatpants and tees aren’t exactly the most flattering option to sport at the holiday get together. Instead, consider wearing one of these cute and comfy outfits to feel good (and look good) all day long. Whether you’re planning on keeping your look casual, dressing up for your holiday feast or lounging around in front of the television after you’ve stuffed your tummy, we have the perfect looks that will ensure comfort all day through!

Thanksgiving holiday with the fam! The loose cardigan is great for wrapping yourself up in after you’ve finished your dinner and don’t want anyone seeing the dreaded bloat. Pair it with a loose tank and some comfy jeans, and don’t forget to add your favorite accessories like a plaid scarf or a necklace! You can’t go wrong with these cute and comfy outfits!

Are you more of a leggings and sweater girl? Me too. This clothing couple are a match made in heaven, especially for Thanksgiving. A thick knit sweater will keep you warm all night long, while leggings will nicely conform to your growing belly. For some extra pizzazz, opt for faux leather leggings and dress it up with your favorite pair of boots!

It seems like plaid is always the print of choice once the colder weather finally hits, maybe because it’s perfect for layering…after all who doesn’t love a good plaid flannel? Wear your flannel over a comfy t-shirt or layer it under a vest for a cute and comfy Thanksgiving outfit. Top it off with accessories of your choice and maybe some faux denim leggings to keep you comfy post-dinner! And if your item of choice isn’t a flannel, you can still incorporate the plaid with a warm blanket sweater or a cozy scarf!

As the holiday season arrives, ‘WHAT DO I WEAR’ the question strikes in your mind. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to pull out your animal sweater with fall colors and fabrics like tweed or boucle jacket.

Thanksgiving outfits ideas can vary from casual to dressy based on where you’re likely to receive your grub on. Considering the aforementioned ways will certainly help you locate the perfect outfits for Thanksgiving Day. Halloween is among my favored holidays!

You don’t need to be Bill Gates, but you have to dress as if you may be.