Happy Holidays Mi Gente!
Holidays are meant to be spent with the people you love, right? Well, this year is a lil different for me I’m not celebrating this year. But for those of you who are celebrating happy holidays to you!
Holidays with a twist! How do you decide whether to keep an ex — or merely someone you dated — in your life after the spark has gone out? Very good question. Sometimes you don’t get much of a choice. When I broke things off, I cut off all communication. If you have kids together, you might be co-parenting or at least communicating especially around the holidays. As for me, I don’t have kids so I don’t have those problems.
Whether or not the breakup was your call, cutting a person out of your life—someone with whom you’ve shared secrets, dreams for the future, a bed, or even a home—is really, really tough. And there’s no formula for breaking up with someone. But even after the hard part is over, it’s never as cut-and-dry as simply saying good-bye. In today’s smartphone-centric, Facebook-addicted, Instagram-obsessed world, staying in touch with an ex is a lot easier—and messier.
Have you ever received a text from your ex on SM because it is the only way they can try to get a hold of you? What would you do, if happened to you? Would you respond back or would you ignore it? What if you had been in a long term relationship with your ex and was very close with their family, would you respond if they contacted you after one year of being separated to spend Christmas with them and their family? Your ex family.
My ex boyfriend wants me to come hangout with his family for Christmas. I broke up with him but he still wants to spend Christmas with me because I moved to another state and am spending the holiday alone. It’s crazy, I never check my FB….ever. Crazy thing when I did decide to check it, there was am DM from him. FML! I probably should of never responded. SMH.
Being single at the holidays is emotional for most, but it also gives you the chance to reflect on relationships of your past. That is if, you’re that sentimental…..but for me 0 sentimientos here. If you’re thinking of reconnecting with a former love at the holidays, you’re not alone many people are just like you….I however am not going to reconnect or rekindle anything. My corazon belongs to someone else, who doesn’t know it yet. Just going as a friend of the family and to see and gift my nephews. I really miss the children and my sister and ex parents in law. They weren’t the problem they just got caught in the cross fire.
Exes trying to be friends when one person still has feelings for the other and is holding on to hope of reconciliation; or someone is still hurt from the breakup, and that makes it hard to continue any kind of relationship. I moved on from the day I ended things he still holds on. Much like being in a romantic relationship, remaining friends with an ex requires that you’re both looking for similar things. In my case, it could be possible to be friends with him but then again I really don’t see it.
But, for those of you who are desperately trying to salvage a holiday relationship I do have some rules to go by. Good luck!
What are the rules and proper etiquette for recycling an ex at the holidays?
Here are five tips on how to reconnect or attend a special holiday event with your former beau or girlfriend, to make it a better experience for all involved.
1. Don’t talk about what went wrong. You know the reason you broke up. He or she knows the reason you broke up. There’s no need to rehash the past and spend time going down memory lane.
2. Don’t talk about your dating history while you were apart. Perhaps one of you had a lusty affair and the other never got over your initial break-up. There’s no reason to compare bad date stories or wonder how many people your ex went to bed with. Keep the conversation on a need-to-know basis. They simply don’t need to know what happened during your hiatus.
3. Do keep the conversation light and easy. Just like your initial first dates, remember to leave the drama behind. You might think the familiarity should allow you to accelerate things, but being a “Debbie or Donnie Downer” will turn him or her away faster than you can imagine. Ask about his or her family and how work is going, or talk about the latest accomplishments of your children. If your former love interest says they’re seeing someone, respect their relationship status and don’t try to talk them out of it.
4. Don’t try to pick up where you left off. Don’t assume your ex wants to get back together long-term. Try and look at this as a new friendship or the beginning of a new relationship that just happened to resurface during the holidays. Don’t start planning your future all over again and keep the expectations low. Live in the moment on your first date together.
5. Don’t sleep together. Avoid being overly affectionate in public the first time you see each other after a break-up. Unless you really want a friends-with-benefits relationship, don’t immediately end up back in bed. You may wake up regretting it in the morning, when your emotions are at an all-time high, as your mind wanders off thinking where the relationship is headed.
If things go well when you reunite over the holidays and you decide to start dating your ex, keep the communication going. Sending only a text message to say that you had a great time instead of calling the next day won’t win her heart. If you’re truly interested in pursuing the relationship again, pick up the phone and call to set up another date.
What were once strong feelings for him had faded to a simple fondness; the pain from the breakup a year ago is gone. As we will say our goodbyes and trade “nice to see you’s,” and we will both think about how it was merely nice to see each other. The holiday will be remarkable for being unremarkable.
And by the end of our short time together we will make no halfhearted promises to see each other again soon. And that will be just fine.