Life Style

Are You Still Searching For Your Future Husband?

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Finding the one you’re meant to marry isn’t easy– and for good reason. Along the way, you learn, grow and figure out what you need. Suddenly, when you least expect it, you meet him. Your future husband.You are dating this guy from quite some time, but are not sure if he is really the man of your dreams or just a waste of your time, aka an asshole? We are pretty sure that a lot of our lovely ladies might have found this familiar. Well girls, if you observe carefully, you will know that the difference between the guy you are dating and your future husband lies in small things.

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I know this is hard to believe when you’re broken-hearted, crying and at the end of your dating rope, but he’s there trust me he’s out there. Look, what happened to Charlotte York Goldenblatt….if she would of given up she would have never met Harry and her happily ever after. Sure, life is not novela!

So, here are the signs that will tell you if your man is really your future husband or just a waste of time. Ladies, grab your pen an a pad and get ready to jot down this list.

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Your future husband brings you closer to God. He is a leader, brings you closer to God, and isn’t afraid to open the bible with you or to pray. He makes you a better person and cares deeply about your relationship with God. One thing I’ve learned is that marriage is difficult, but God is the glue that holds a marriage together. Without God, it may seem easy to just toss everything aside when things get tough, but with faith you know that you can survive anything.

Your future husband treats you like a priority. An asshole makes you feel like a backup plan.

Your future husband makes it clear he’s into you. An asshole keeps you wondering.

You only have eyes for him. From the day you met him, you never had to think about marrying him, you just KNEW he was the one. You may think other men are attractive, but you don’t even consider them, because you know deep down that your man is better.  Not only will your eyes stop wandering, but your exes will be pushed to the back of your mind. Ryan who?

Guess what else ends? You stop having “what if there is someone else better out there for me” thoughts, because you are confident that your guy was made for you.

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Your future husband and you have great chemistry.
Chemistry. We hear so much about it, but what is it anyways? I describe it as an energy felt between two people. You light up when he’s around and he makes you feel different than anybody you’ve ever dated. You experience butterflies the first couple of dates, and just the feeling of him touching your hand brings a feeling of electricity through your body (poetic, but it’s the only way I know how to explain it.) You can talk to him for hours and being separated from him just feels wrong.  You’re simply drawn together. And this Chemistry, it can’t be made. It exists from the very beginning. The butterflies may wear off and the electricity may fade, but the feeling that you can’t live without one another — should last a lifetime.

Communication comes naturally. When you first started dating you didn’t feel the need to kiss the whole time that you were together, because you were more interested in talking and getting to know one another. You’re also not afraid to have deeper conversations and allow him to get to know you beyond a surface level.  One thing I’ve learned, if you’re able to communicate well with someone you barely know, it’s an early indicator that communication will always come easy. I mean come on– you survived the most awkward part!

Your future husband listens to you. A man with the intentions of marrying you will be genuinely interested in you. Hence, he will lend his ears to you whenever you speak. This quality may be absent in someone who is not serious about you.

Your future husband enjoys conversation with you. An asshole just wants you to be quiet.

Your future husband asks about you and your life. An asshole couldn’t care less.

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You can handle an argument. When you meet the right man, you will be able to openly discuss your problems or disagreements. You both will not want to play mind games and ignore each other for days. If you both can confront the problem head on, that’s a good sign— and let me just say, the way you each respond is a great indicator for the future. If you guys can both handle a disagreement without screaming in bitter voices, or using foul language – you’ve found a keeper!

My mother always told me: if you’re fighting within the first 6 months of a relationship, end it!  I always laughed at this, but it makes sense now. In the beginning of a relationship it should be all sunshine and rainbows, but if it’s already rainstorms and thunder — get out! You deserve the happy days before all the flaws start really coming out! And let’s get real — a relationship only runs into more problems over time, not less.

Your future husband calls you up without any reason.Well, of course there is a reason. He might be missing you, or is concerned about you. Or, probably he had a bad day, and just wants to listen to your voice! Whatever the reason is, such calls are one of the signs that your relationship with this man is a meaningful one.

Your future husband texts you just to check in. An asshole texts you when he wants something.

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He is genuinely concerned about you. The one actually in love with you will worry about your safety, your health, your career, your well-being, and even the smallest thing related to you. But, a random guy will not even fake so much of interest in you.

Your future husband brings out the best in you. An asshole brings out the crazy, stalker bitch in you.

Your future husband sees your success as his success. An asshole needs to take you down a notch.

Your future husband includes you in his future plans.You will notice him talking more about ‘us’ than ‘me’, if he is serious about you. He may even unconsciously slip a word or two about marriage, kids, and getting old together. You’re able to discuss difficult subjects, for instance: faith similarities or differences, the amount of children you want and how you want to raise them, money matters concerning spending and saving; then there’s the fun subjects like your dreams, goals, and where you see yourself living one day.

If you both are able to discuss those topics, then agree, and be willing to bend for one another, it’s a good sign. Sometimes people get married without discussing these things, and then find out they can’t live together anymore. Sometimes love isn’t enough. You need to be willing to bend for one another and support each other’s wishes. Marriage involves giving up a lot. Are you willing to give up your dreams so that he may be able to follow his? Or is he willing to give up his dreams so you can follow yours? Are you willing to become a team and mold your lives together into something completely different than you’ve ever expected? If not, then you’re not ready for marriage, and you’re probably not right for one another.

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Your future husband will not play mind games. In high school we were taught all the mind games — When you should call, how long you should wait to respond, who you should flirt with to make him jealous, what hot picture you should post to get his attention, which outfit will make him want you, what friend you should have secretly approach him… Let’s get real here. If either people in a relationship are still playing these games, then:   A. You’re still too immature for a committed relationship or B. The relationship is making you too insecure. And honestly, you don’t want either of those situations occurring in a relationship that’s about to be taken to the next level.  When you’re with the right person, things will be flowing so naturally, you’ll forget to play those games. I promise you that.

Your future husband creates a feeling of forward momentum in the relationship. An asshole wants to keep things exactly as they are.

Your future husband values commitment and partnership. An asshole is just trying to hang out.

Your future husband is ready to make sacrifices for you.Your future husband will be ready to make sacrifices and compromises in order to keep you happy and also, to keep the relationship going. Of course, not always! But, whenever possible, he will do so because your happiness matters a lot to him.

Your future husband prioritizes your happiness. An asshole prioritizes his own happiness.

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You share the same sense of humor. You can be yourself, goof around, and laugh and joke — and he enjoys it. He gets it, and he loves it. There’s nothing more irritating than thinking something is really funny, and Mr. Fun-killer has to come over and play the devil’s advocate and point out all the reasons why it isn’t.  You should be able to be yourself, not embarrassed of who you are when you’re having a little fun! And he should feel comfortable too.

Laughter is what keeps a relationship young and fun. If you can’t laugh together, what’s the point?

Your future husband does nice little things for you, just because. An asshole doesn’t.

Your future husband thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. An asshole’s eyes keep wandering.

Your future husband makes you feel chased. An asshole is someone you’re always struggling to pin down.

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Your future husband wants to show you off to his friends and family. An asshole hides you from them.

When you meet the one, you can’t wait to tell your friends and family. That’s just the way it is. When you’re in love, it’s hard not to tell the world. And he should do the same. He should want you to meet the people he cares most about. The right man in your life will not only take interest in your family, but will also be interested in introducing you to his family and friends.Whether it’s his Mom, Dad, boss, best friend, brother, or sister. He should be going out of his way to introduce you to them. Whether it’s planning a trip or inviting you to a work event. When you’re with the right person, he will treat you like his trophy or prized possession — he’ll want to show you off and you’ll do the same in return.

 Not every guy will show interest in getting involved or even get acquainted with your family in the early stages of dating and sometimes to no avail later down the road in the relationship. And, if you find one, maybe he is just the ‘one’ for you. On the other hand, someone who does not see any future with you will be hesitant to take this step. 

You’d be proud to have a son exactly like your future husband.
Take a good look at him. Are you proud of his character? If you had a little boy and he behaved the same way as him, would you like it? Father like son is a real thing, and one day you can’t have little junior running around treating you badly. Remember that. Pay close attention ladies!

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Your future husband is great in real life. An asshole looks good only on paper, if that.

Your future husband is your home. You feel at home with him. The feeling you get when you first enter your home after a long day. He’s the first person you want to call after receiving good or bad news. You don’t mind silent moments or boring nights, because you’re together and that’s all that matters. You’re able to just hug and rest in his arms without feeling like you owe him anything physical, like sex. Life is easier with him. He accepts you and loves you for who you are, and he doesn’t break you down, he builds you up; he makes you realize how much you are capable of. He balances you and completes you.

I know this is an extensive list, and there’s a lot to take in, but this is a serious topic. Marriage is a big deal, and you need to be absolutely confident that you’re with the right person! Because, after all who nobody wants to be known as the one who had multiple failed marriages. There is a lot to consider, and if you’re missing a lot of things on this list, then maybe it’s time to realize that God has somebody else out there for you. And even if it’s painful to move on, imagine how much better it will be to move forward and stop wasting the time you could be spending with your future husband.

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Now, on the other hand, if your relationship has many of the things listed, I’m excited for you! I’m pretty sure you’re with an amazing man and a keeper. Don’t let him get away, but first make sure he feels the same way. This is a two way street.

Best of wishes to you all,

Brooke